Oh... I remember what this looks like!

Oh... I remember what this looks like!

 OK…so it’s the end of January and I’ve completely lost any momentum that I might have had for healthy eating and regular exercising.  I’ve replaced my bananas, yogurt, and fat free cottage cheese with Doritos, Cookies N’ Cream Ice Cream, and M&Ms.  I should have known that I was in trouble…I’m assuming that the first stages of any addiction would closely mirror my M&Ms buying habits over the last 2-3 months.

  1. I occasionally pick a single “small bag” (once or twice)
  2. I move up to the “party pack”…8 small bags for $1 (…well if I’m going to be eating more of them, I might as well pick this one up)
  3. Oh…CVS has two “medium bags” for $5…sounds like a good deal, I guess I’ll probably eat them in the next few months
  4. 4 Days Later:  Time to get the $7, 27 oz. “Fat Bag”!! (Rationalization: I need to get the most amount of M&Ms possible at the lowest per unit cost)

I’d guess that the next step would be for me to get an M&M’s IV, but I think my PPO only covers preventative chocolate addiction treatment.

So, I spent $90 last year on my WiiFit and was really kicking some ass on it.  I started in mid-August at 202ish…and by the end of October I was down to about 174.  Now, I do remember seeing my WiiFit recently…but where was it?  Damn…where did I put that thing?  Oh…there it is….

You can run, but you can't hide.  (But don't worry...I'm too lazy to run after you anyway!)

You can run, but you can't hide. (But don't worry...I'm too lazy to run after you anyway!)

That’s right!  I shoved it under the couch when that annoying little CGI board asked my why I thought I had gained weight since my last session.  News flash: Cram it little board!  I’ve been making sure that Connor doesn’t eat all of the M&Ms, Kit Kats, Hershey’s Kisses, Ice Cream, and Cookies in the house.  I’m really taking one for the team, but I don’t want my son eating that crap!

…And what’s the etiquette on weight-loss followed by weight-gain?  Should I still allow myself to be proud that I’m still around 180 even though I’ve been eating like Tom Hanks did once he got off of that island with Wilson.  Do I tell people that I’ve lost 20 pounds since last summer…or that I’ve gained 10 since last month?  Aaahhh…the great mysteries of life. 

Perhaps I’ll join the NAAFP (National Association for the Advancement of Fat People) if I ever get back to my 240 days.  I know I may be sounding the alarm a little prematurely (no jokes people…can’t we all just be adults for 5 minutes?), but you can’t get up to 240 without nice stops at 180, 190, 200, 210, 220 on the way.

N.A.A.F.P. Meeting

N.A.A.F.P. Meeting

Here’s a Family Guy picture from the episode where Peter founded the NAAFP.  If you look closely, you can see me in the second row.

More next time kids…I have some chips to eat.


January 29, 2009. Tags: , . eating habits. 2 comments.

Citizen’s Gas: Saving You Money…

Saving You Money

OK…first of all, let me start by saying that I wasn’t going to post anything tonight because I’m ridiculously tired.  It took me 3.5 hours to go from I-465 (Brookville Exit) to I-69 (96th Street Exit) to I-70 (MLK Exit) to I-465 (37 South Exit) tonight.  There was one point while I was sitting on Michigan Street on the IUPUI campus, where everyone who was walking was going about 5-6 times faster than anyone driving.  I had an Office Space flashback of the Peter in the traffic jam with the old man with the walker passing him.  Snow sure is pretty…if you’re not driving in it.

With that said, I was working on some boring on-line stuff with my Citizen’s Gas account.  I tried to pull up my account several times (with no luck).  I kept getting an error that said something like: “We know you have an account with us, but our system sucks and won’t pull up your information.  Please try again if you’d like the same crap results”.  So I clicked somewhere else on their page and got the image above.

“All of the attractive customer service representatives are on other calls.  Your call is important to us.  If your call requires immediate assistance, please dial 0 for Helga”

I don’t know what to say about this picture.  I’ve heard so many PSAs this year from Citizen’s Gas about the prices going up …and their CEO is on-line weekly to answer questions, etc.   My first though after seeing this picture is: Why don’t they say they’re keeping their rates down by not hiring professional models?  I mean without getting mean for the sake of being mean… this is a very handsome woman… and she has a face for answering the phone.  Should her picture really be on the website?  Did they just not check their clip-art or what?

Way better than Helga...

Way better than Helga...

I found this picture on Google in about 30 seconds.  What’s wrong with this one?  I’d much rather talk to “teeth-whitener” girl than Helga… or at least see her picture on the website.

I guess what this really comes down to is business sense.  Does anyone really think that the women on the commercials for the 900 numbers are truly the same women on the other end of the phone?…NO.  And none of us really think that “teeth-whitener” girl is answering the phones at Citizen’s Gas, or ringing you up at Home Depot, or even telling you that your NSF fee total is $35 at your local bank office.

….BUT, good business people know how to craft that illusion…and today Citizen’s Gas and their Internet department get a big “F” (or the alternate: F.U.).  Come on guys….do something better with my $250/month.  I’m turning my thermostat to 40 on principal alone…Bastards.

January 28, 2009. Tags: . rants. 6 comments.

First Post: Case of the Mondays

What's in my DVD player?

What's in my DVD player?

Well, I’ve been screwing around with the web tools for the last hour and I must say that I don’t know if I have the patience or eloquence to write anything mind boggling this evening.

I will say that I think I’m going to enjoy sitting down and letting loose all of the clutter that builds up in the big dust-collector on the top of my neck.  I seem to have all sorts of random crap flying in and out of there all the time… and if you’re unfortunate enough to have the time to read this (i.e. bored at work, sitting on the crapper, got to the last page of the Internet and are currently doubling back), you may just begin to be concerned about my well-being…or at very least the well being of my son, Spider-man.

I guess while I’m up and ranting.  Here’s something that’s been on my mind a lot lately…movies.  [Previously on Knight Rider:  Eric is a new Blu-ray fan who has a PS3, an excellent 1080i 57″ HDTV, and a fantastic 5.1 Dolby Digital Sound setup run through an optical cable at home.  He’s purchased about 20 Blu-rays (90% of them on mega sale) in the last 3 months and is anxiously awaiting his Blu-ray copy of Transformers from Amazon.com any day now]….aaah I digress.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking  a lot lately about my fondness for the repeated viewing of my favorite movies.  Friends and family will often comment on how many movies that I purchase rather than rent.  I explain that I do enjoy my favorite movies enough to warrant the purchase price.  I’ve begun to justify that I’m somewhat of a fan of the art that is movie making.  I enjoy watching the “making of” segments in the extras of DVDs…I’m fond of the work of certain directors and actors.  I like hearing about why the choice is made for 2.40:1 vs. 1.85:1  aspect ratio.  [For example: Spider-man was filmed in 1:85, but when moving to Spider-man 2…they switched to 2.40 to allow for the enormity of Doctor Octopus and his extremities].

With all of this said…am I really just placating myself?  I pay attention to all of this stuff…and I enjoy the art of a well-made film; however, the last movies that I watched were: Hulk, Iron Man, The Hunt for Red October, Office Space, and Hellboy 2.  Doesn’t really sound like the nomination list for this year’s Academy Awards, does it?  So, I can’t quite figure it all out.  I like to think that I’m sophisticated enough to call myself a fan of the art form (…I do like The Machinist, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, Memento, The Prestige…) , but I guess I’ll fess up and admit that I mostly like movies with superheroes, explosions, Will Ferrell, farts, expletives, and groin trauma.

There… you made me say it.  I hope you’re happy.  If you bring this up, I’ll have to deny it.

January 27, 2009. Tags: . movies. 4 comments.