Stranger Than Fiction

Truth is Stranger than Fiction

Truth is Stranger than Fiction

OK…for starters, I was on a (very long, boring, pointless…) teleconference/webinar yesterday.  Within 15 minutes I was bored enough to start going through the attendee list…and I noticed that I was online with “Jim Boner” & “Olga Arreola”.  Spelling aside for Ms. Arreola, I felt this was so unbelievable that I had to do a screen capture for posterity.  I mean really, without heading down the “clever adult film star” names route…what else is there to say about that!?  I wonder if Olga is sister to Helga from Citizen’s Gas?  If so, I don’t think I’d be interested in sampling any of her “acting”.

The good news is that since I was taking my conference call from home, I was able to utilize my “mute” button and get in some practice on Guitar Hero… I mean I was checking my e-mails…

Enough!

Enough!

Dear God,

Enough all ready!  I get it…snow is a miracle.  No two flakes are the same…amazing…now how about making it show up on a day that I don’t have to drive out into Dante’s hell?  It’s me, Connor, Dante, and Virgil in the car for over an hour for an 8 mile trip.  I’d complain about the (lack of) snow removal in Indianapolis; however, the last time a Kintzel bitched too much about government & snow plows, a man died.

[Side note: February 22, 2003 – On the way home from a Toad the Wet Sprocket concert in Cincinnatti, there was a horrible snow storm.  There were four of us in the car: Me, Amber, Fred (dad), and Garret.  The roads were amazingly un-plowed…and Garret was driving his new Nissan Sentra.  Dad was saying how the state resources were mismanaged, etc…and how badly Governor Frank O’Bannon  sucked.  He was dead that September.  I guess Dad put the Kintzel-Curse on him.]

Sincerely,

             A guy who’s tired of knowing exactly where his snow-shovel is

 

Really!?
Really!?

At the risk of sounding too self-important, I get the daily Inside Indiana Business e-mail…and had two articles in yesterday’s that I just had to comment on. 

First of all…the one above.  File this under “No Shit”.  So, the housing market was a little soft last year?  Really?  That’s the first I’m hearing of any of this.  I’ll have my people get on it and call a mandatory webinar with appropriate action items.  Be sure to dial in 10 minutes early so that you can wait around for the dunces who call right on time but are having “technical problems” and hold up everyone else anyway.

Honesty=(.023)*(Shutting Up)

Honesty=(.023)*(Shutting Up)

Three guys working for the Indiana Dept. of Transportation found $130,000 and immediately called the police.  They were each handed $1,000 (or 2.3% of their share of the overall find) from the governor and a pat on the back.  To be honest, I’d take the other $127,000 and pat myself on the back for keeping my damned mouth shut.

Or…there’s always the possiblity that these guys found like $250,000, kept $120,000, and still managed to get their pictures taken with the governor.

Either way…the moral to the story is that (per the Indiana Government):  Honesty = 2.3% of Keeping Your Mouth Shut

Advertisements

February 3, 2009. Tags: , , , . rants. Leave a comment.