Yo Need a Drug Test
What the...
I was at the store this week and ran into some “Yo Gabba Gabba” items in the toy aisle. I’m not familiar with the show (outside of what I see on The Soup), but I’ve got to tell you that just looking at this picture…makes me feel like I should be in line for an involuntary urine test.
Yo D.M.C.
I imagine this is what someone on a “Yo Gabba” trip must have hallucinated in the early 80’s. Clearly DJ Lance Rock (yes…that’s really his name…I just looked it up) is on the fabled “brown acid” from Woodstock. He’s bumpin’ some King of Rock, or My Adidas by Run D.M.C. with his peeps while they’re checking out his Bob Marley black-light poster.
They’re all stocked up on Doritos, Ben & Jerry’s, Twinkies, Frozen Pizzas… and just got back from Taco Bell. Plex (the yellow robot) brought his California Raisins smoking apparatus and his DVDs: Pineapple Express, Cheech & Chong, Beavis & Butt-Head, & Super Troopers. Everything is going well until:
I'm wiggin' out man
Captain Tampon (didn’t catch his name) starts having a bad trip. “Are you a cop? If you are…you have to tell me”, he begins shouting as he runs in circles with his hands in the air. “Heaven’s Gate Away Team had the right idea…where are my sweatpants and my Nike’s?” he continues as the rest of the crew tackle him to the ground.
I know that was a long way around the block, but those toys/that show freak me out. I highly (nopun intended) suggest that anyone working in law enforcement around the Nickelodeon studios should be planning a sting operation immediately. You can only hide behind “it’s a kid’s show” for so long. Come on C.I.A.! Get a NARC in there now. There could be some Colombian drug lord writing the “scripts” if you can call them that.
I see you!
I’m just thankful that my son doesn’t really watch much TV; however, we do enjoy the occasional Sponge-Bob! And tomorrow morning, that porous little guy is going to make my life so much easier. Connor (my 4-year-old) isn’t that fond of getting up in the morning…so I got him this Sponge-Bob alarm clock at (begin sending hate-mail) Wal-Mart today for $15. He’s actually excited about waking up with an alarm like his Dad…I really pulled the fleece over his eyes, I know. It’s all good and well at 10:45pm, let’s see what little Plankton does tomorrow morning when seagulls are waking him up.
Prepare to taste my wrath!
Documenting My Mental Decline 